Monday, April 28, 2014
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Missing him.....
Something you may or may not know about me and my husband Travis is that he and I SUCK at taking trips without each other :( We both get like separation anxiety and feel lonely and everything seems to be like really lame for some reason. This is one of the moments. He had to leave for Salt Lake today and it's KILLING me knowing he won't be sleeping next to me tonight :( I miss him SO much! Luckily I'm joining him up there on Saturday but still!!! :( I seriously hate this :( ...that is all.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. This is what it means to me!
So at my work as I mentioned before that I translate phone calls for the hearing-impaired so I'm always listening to one end of the conversation incognito basically and today I translated one of the best conversations of my life!
I translated for a girl who was probably around my age and she was talking to her mom and she sounded like she was crying and a little angry. I learned through speaking her words that she had just broken up with her boyfriend whom she had been with for a year now and she made it clear that it was just not going to work with them anymore like a million times. She finally mentioned why. She said it was because he wanted to have sex after dating so long. He claimed that the longer they date, the more they should be sexually active. Plus, he mentioned that having sex is something he "needed" to boost his "ego" as a man. But this girl had mentioned that when they started dating, she didn't want to have sex until they were married. And so when he said all this to her, she again reminded him that she would not have sex with him because they weren't married. But he didn't care and she claimed he won't change his mind and she won't change hers so it was over. She said all this with bravery in her voice and eventhough I couldn't see her, I could totally picture the tears rolling down her face as she said all this. She metioned that she was angry and upset and in that moment I wished so bad that I could just give her a BIG hug and say, "Good for you!! You are so tough and amazing!"
Ladies and Gentlemen, that right there was an example of true respect for yourself. I can tell you right there, I can imagine if I was in that situation, it would be VERY difficult! Being with someone you clearly like almost every day for year is a LONG time and a lot of emotions are made in that time so having to say no to someone whom you've made a connection with like that would be VERY difficult! I personally believe in having sex after marriage myself because I've seen many advantages to it but it wasn't just not having sex that made me see the respect in this girl. It was the fact that she wanted to protect something she thought was special about herself. Many times, especially in our youth, we tend to lose our dignity because we want somebody to approve of us and when that person is out of our lives for whatever reason, our hearts are broken and we tend to beat ourselves up over it. This girl didn't let that happen. Yeah she was hurt, but at least she did what she knew what was right for her. And that, to me, is R-E-S-P-E-C-T as Aretha Franklin calls it.
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Tuesday, September 3, 2013
New School Year/What Love Means To Me
Hey folks! I haven't written on here in a while and the only reason I got inspired to is because my two very charming and awesome friends Braxton and Arielle are currently having the time of their lives studying abroad in Italy and I've been reading their blog and getting excited for them. And although, I'm not in a foreign country having the time of my life, I felt like I should blog today anyway.
I'm in my 3rd year of college this year. I'm taking mostly science and I'm almost done with my Associate's Degree. I'm still undecided about a major because they're aren't any majors that appeal to me enough. Maybe this'll be the year I finally pick one. Who knows.
My two-year anniversary is coming in December! So exciting! :D I can't believe I've made it this long! I'm really proud :)And I have to say, today I was really reminded about how much I care and love him. I thought really hard about how I not only love him as my best friend, but he's literally a part of me. I never want to do anything to hurt him because I know it would kill me as much as it would kill him. Maybe even more. He's way too special to not have in my life. I mean he inspired me to be a better person. Plus, he's too fun and sweet and it's awesome to have someone I can tell just about anything to. I've noticed lately, I've been telling him exactly how I feel about things and what's on my mind. I used to be afraid to do that because I was always embarrassed or scared. It's amazing that I've been able to break that barrier of holding back what I feel. I don't neccesarily believe in soulmates but if they were real, he would be it because he seems to define it. I love you Travis!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
All About Us :)
So this is currently my favorite song right now. I've loved Owl City for years and I've just recently started to listen to He Is We and I LOVE them!!! And while discovering He Is We, I discovered this :). This song also happened to be the first dance for my brother-in-law and his wife this past Saturday. It is AMAZING! And so very cute :). Click on the link and enjoy!
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| He Is We (Rachel Taylor and Trevor Kelly) |
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| Owl City (Adam Young) |
All About Us
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
15 Confessions
Today, I've decided to write about 15 things you may or may not know about me :)
1. Most of you know that I'm a singer and that I love to sing, but what you may not know is that I can sing soprano, alto, and tenor and WISH I could sing bass! It sounds silly coming from a girl, but I really wish I was so good at singing that I could sing ANY part. My dream is to be able to sing every note on the piano because I think it would be cool and convient to have such a high range.
2. I come across as someone who doesn't care what anyone thinks and I go with my own flow. This is partially true since I like to do things that make me happy, but the real truth is, I CONSTANTLY worry about what people think of me ALL the time! I often question if people think I'm too weird or wonder if the decisions I make are the right and normal ones. I don't want people to think less of me by what I choose. These worries have gotten me into trouble A LOT so then it makes me worry even more!
3. While I've been in relationships or liked someone, I've been good at acting cool if someone I like likes somebody else or the person I'm in a relationship with mentions something about their ex from the past. I, for the most part, understand it was in the past and that the person likes ME now and not the other girl. But I still die inside when I hear these stories. I feel EXTREMELY jealous. No, I don't lash out and make a scene. Most of the time, people have NO IDEA I feel extremely jealous at that moment because I try very hard to keep my cool.
4. Sometimes, my husband and Travis and I fight. I know some of you are thinking, "Well everyone fights" and I know that. I've witnessed it with other couples in my life many times, but I still don't like it. The only reason I don't like it so much is because I hear about other couples who don't fight and it makes me feel like I'm screwing up. I know that nobody's perfect, but I wish fighting wasn't an issue I had because I love Travis a lot and I know he loves me too, so I feel kinda dumb after I fight because he's the person I care about the most and I'd rather lose other people than lose him.
5. I strive to be happy. Being miserable makes me not want to continue with life and I know that I shouldn't feel that way ever. So I try to stay positive about everything. Now, I'm not saying I'm always positive and perfect all the time because I actually complain a lot and there's things that make me ANGRY, so I automatically don't control my negative feelings. But I do try to avoid situations that make me feel that way because I want to live a happy life and be seen as a good example.
6. I'm proud of my LDS faith and I want to do my best to live its teachings because I know they're true and I want to return to my Heavenly Father who I believe in very strongly, but because I try to be faithful, I'm often seen and treated as some sort of prude. I don't swear often (I do if I'm mad, but even then, I try not to), I don't watch rated R movies and I don't shop/go out on Sundays (I eat at restaurants on Sundays if I'm travelling but when I'm home I don't.) I even get singled out in Utah where there's lots of Mormons believe it or not. I hate having that label because people treat me like there's something wrong with me. Even if they like me. And I hate it when people will say "Oh I won't swear because you're here" or anything like that because I'd rather have people to choose for themselves not to swear then just stop swearing because I'm around. I don't want people to temporarily change because I'm in the room. Because of these feelings, I've lowering my standards on many ocassions just so I wouldn't look like I was a "Molly Mormon". I regret doing so because I tried to impress the wrong people. So now, I really try not to care.
7. I love a LOT of artists that most people would consider as their guilty pleasures. Mostly tweeny-bopper artists such as Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Backstreet Boys, Wham!, etc. The only one one I don't love is Justin Bieber. I've honestly never been a fan of him. He has a few good songs, but for the most part, He's overrated to me. But anyway, I don't care if they're embarrassing. If it's a good song to me, then I like it and I don't feel the need to have to hide it.
8. I only watch comedy TV shows. Every now and then I watch a different genre, but they're either too dramatic for me or boring. Comedies always put a smile on my face and there's a lot of truth in them which is why I laugh at them. A lot of shows poke fun at things in real life and it's really enjoyable to watch. I love having a good laugh and I don't get tired of it even though my body hurts from laughing after a while.
9. I would love to work for Disney. Everything they stand for is happy, memorable and imaginative. I've personally met people who worked/work for Disney and they LOVE it! It sounds like such a dream come true! I would especially like to be the voice of princess or a play a princess in Disneyland or Disney World because I love singing and looking pretty and having little girls look up to me as some kind of hero would be truly amazing. I may be Disney crazy because I happen to share a birthday with Walt Disney himself (December 5).
10. I haven't done any acting in 3 years and I REALLY miss it! Theater has always been such a fun experience for me and if my life wasn't so busy, I would definitely get back into acting. If I ever did get back into acting, my dream would be to play Millie Dilmount, main character of the musical "Thoroughly Modern Millie". She is the character I relate to the most and her songs are exactly my range and style. I would just need to learn how to tap dance better. I unfortunately am NOT a very good dancer. I've found my body wasn't made to do so.
11. Like most girls, I care a lot about how I look. It's something we're taught not to worry about, but most of us do. I feel self-concious because I see girls, including my friends, who look so much prettier than me and I often wish that I could match their looks. I want to look like my own person, but I want to have a look that makes people say, "Oh gosh she's HOT!!" I don't think I'm super ugly or anything. I just want to look incredible. I've gained a little weight since high school and losing it has been a challenge. I'm not obese or anything but I want to be able to wear size small shirts and not see fat rolls every time I sit down.
12. The biggest thing I want in life right now is to be a mom. I often picture myself holding my own baby that I brought to the Earth and imagine taking care of it and loving it and teaching them to be a great person. Some of you know about my tragedy back in April this year, and it hurt but I've learned that there's still hope for me. Just because it isn't time for me to be a mom now doesn't mean I never will be. I can't wait until that day.
13. I like to flirt and I've flirted in the past but I'm TERRIFIED of guys flirting with me. It absolutely freaks me out! It's usually because the guys that flirt with me are people I'm not interested in and I don't want to hurt their feelings by saying I'm not interested. Plus, they're OFTEN creepy. Some girls like having attention from guys even though they don't like them like that but I DO NOT. Being married has made this problem go away a lot more, but it still ocassionally happens and I HATE it!
14. I consider myself a social person and I don't have trouble talking to people, but I consider myself to be shy because I struggle with connecting to people. I know I'm kind of weird and I often will not know what to say in a coversation. I don't like to blab about myself too much because I don't want to seem like I only care about myself and I'm interested in knowing the person I'm talking to. I'm often quiet and don't hang out with people all the time due to my shyness but I've been trying to change that lately because I want to be peoples's friend and have them be comfortable around me and vice versa. I also sometimes feel like some people are only in my life just because they're friends with someone I'm close to. I want people to like and know me without a peron I'm linked to.
15. I wish I was a convert to the LDS Church. I know several converts including my husband and my dad and their stories are incredible and it's really made their faith and my faith so strong. I wish I had the same power they do to inspire people to join our church or come back to it. Being a member my whole life doesn't really give me experience of not knowing what it's like to be without the Gospel so how can I inspire in that way?
1. Most of you know that I'm a singer and that I love to sing, but what you may not know is that I can sing soprano, alto, and tenor and WISH I could sing bass! It sounds silly coming from a girl, but I really wish I was so good at singing that I could sing ANY part. My dream is to be able to sing every note on the piano because I think it would be cool and convient to have such a high range.
2. I come across as someone who doesn't care what anyone thinks and I go with my own flow. This is partially true since I like to do things that make me happy, but the real truth is, I CONSTANTLY worry about what people think of me ALL the time! I often question if people think I'm too weird or wonder if the decisions I make are the right and normal ones. I don't want people to think less of me by what I choose. These worries have gotten me into trouble A LOT so then it makes me worry even more!
3. While I've been in relationships or liked someone, I've been good at acting cool if someone I like likes somebody else or the person I'm in a relationship with mentions something about their ex from the past. I, for the most part, understand it was in the past and that the person likes ME now and not the other girl. But I still die inside when I hear these stories. I feel EXTREMELY jealous. No, I don't lash out and make a scene. Most of the time, people have NO IDEA I feel extremely jealous at that moment because I try very hard to keep my cool.
4. Sometimes, my husband and Travis and I fight. I know some of you are thinking, "Well everyone fights" and I know that. I've witnessed it with other couples in my life many times, but I still don't like it. The only reason I don't like it so much is because I hear about other couples who don't fight and it makes me feel like I'm screwing up. I know that nobody's perfect, but I wish fighting wasn't an issue I had because I love Travis a lot and I know he loves me too, so I feel kinda dumb after I fight because he's the person I care about the most and I'd rather lose other people than lose him.
5. I strive to be happy. Being miserable makes me not want to continue with life and I know that I shouldn't feel that way ever. So I try to stay positive about everything. Now, I'm not saying I'm always positive and perfect all the time because I actually complain a lot and there's things that make me ANGRY, so I automatically don't control my negative feelings. But I do try to avoid situations that make me feel that way because I want to live a happy life and be seen as a good example.
6. I'm proud of my LDS faith and I want to do my best to live its teachings because I know they're true and I want to return to my Heavenly Father who I believe in very strongly, but because I try to be faithful, I'm often seen and treated as some sort of prude. I don't swear often (I do if I'm mad, but even then, I try not to), I don't watch rated R movies and I don't shop/go out on Sundays (I eat at restaurants on Sundays if I'm travelling but when I'm home I don't.) I even get singled out in Utah where there's lots of Mormons believe it or not. I hate having that label because people treat me like there's something wrong with me. Even if they like me. And I hate it when people will say "Oh I won't swear because you're here" or anything like that because I'd rather have people to choose for themselves not to swear then just stop swearing because I'm around. I don't want people to temporarily change because I'm in the room. Because of these feelings, I've lowering my standards on many ocassions just so I wouldn't look like I was a "Molly Mormon". I regret doing so because I tried to impress the wrong people. So now, I really try not to care.
7. I love a LOT of artists that most people would consider as their guilty pleasures. Mostly tweeny-bopper artists such as Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Backstreet Boys, Wham!, etc. The only one one I don't love is Justin Bieber. I've honestly never been a fan of him. He has a few good songs, but for the most part, He's overrated to me. But anyway, I don't care if they're embarrassing. If it's a good song to me, then I like it and I don't feel the need to have to hide it.
8. I only watch comedy TV shows. Every now and then I watch a different genre, but they're either too dramatic for me or boring. Comedies always put a smile on my face and there's a lot of truth in them which is why I laugh at them. A lot of shows poke fun at things in real life and it's really enjoyable to watch. I love having a good laugh and I don't get tired of it even though my body hurts from laughing after a while.
9. I would love to work for Disney. Everything they stand for is happy, memorable and imaginative. I've personally met people who worked/work for Disney and they LOVE it! It sounds like such a dream come true! I would especially like to be the voice of princess or a play a princess in Disneyland or Disney World because I love singing and looking pretty and having little girls look up to me as some kind of hero would be truly amazing. I may be Disney crazy because I happen to share a birthday with Walt Disney himself (December 5).
10. I haven't done any acting in 3 years and I REALLY miss it! Theater has always been such a fun experience for me and if my life wasn't so busy, I would definitely get back into acting. If I ever did get back into acting, my dream would be to play Millie Dilmount, main character of the musical "Thoroughly Modern Millie". She is the character I relate to the most and her songs are exactly my range and style. I would just need to learn how to tap dance better. I unfortunately am NOT a very good dancer. I've found my body wasn't made to do so.
11. Like most girls, I care a lot about how I look. It's something we're taught not to worry about, but most of us do. I feel self-concious because I see girls, including my friends, who look so much prettier than me and I often wish that I could match their looks. I want to look like my own person, but I want to have a look that makes people say, "Oh gosh she's HOT!!" I don't think I'm super ugly or anything. I just want to look incredible. I've gained a little weight since high school and losing it has been a challenge. I'm not obese or anything but I want to be able to wear size small shirts and not see fat rolls every time I sit down.
12. The biggest thing I want in life right now is to be a mom. I often picture myself holding my own baby that I brought to the Earth and imagine taking care of it and loving it and teaching them to be a great person. Some of you know about my tragedy back in April this year, and it hurt but I've learned that there's still hope for me. Just because it isn't time for me to be a mom now doesn't mean I never will be. I can't wait until that day.
13. I like to flirt and I've flirted in the past but I'm TERRIFIED of guys flirting with me. It absolutely freaks me out! It's usually because the guys that flirt with me are people I'm not interested in and I don't want to hurt their feelings by saying I'm not interested. Plus, they're OFTEN creepy. Some girls like having attention from guys even though they don't like them like that but I DO NOT. Being married has made this problem go away a lot more, but it still ocassionally happens and I HATE it!
14. I consider myself a social person and I don't have trouble talking to people, but I consider myself to be shy because I struggle with connecting to people. I know I'm kind of weird and I often will not know what to say in a coversation. I don't like to blab about myself too much because I don't want to seem like I only care about myself and I'm interested in knowing the person I'm talking to. I'm often quiet and don't hang out with people all the time due to my shyness but I've been trying to change that lately because I want to be peoples's friend and have them be comfortable around me and vice versa. I also sometimes feel like some people are only in my life just because they're friends with someone I'm close to. I want people to like and know me without a peron I'm linked to.
15. I wish I was a convert to the LDS Church. I know several converts including my husband and my dad and their stories are incredible and it's really made their faith and my faith so strong. I wish I had the same power they do to inspire people to join our church or come back to it. Being a member my whole life doesn't really give me experience of not knowing what it's like to be without the Gospel so how can I inspire in that way?
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
All About May!
Ok today I decided I'm going to write a post about my little sister, May. The reason she doesn't look like me is because my family adopted her from a far away country called Kazhakstan just south of Russia. She is the one thing I wished for as a little girl: A sister. I have have 5 brothers so you can imagine how much it killed me that I didn't have a sister. She's 7 years younger than me, but I've loved her from the moment I saw her. She was terrified to be among white strangers in completely different country but it didn't take her long to warm up to our craziness :P.
Today she's 14 and she's proud of the fact that she's Asian, and she's really smart, although she has a ton of dumb "brown" moments :P. She's obsessed with the movie Pitch Perfect and she loves babies and animals. She also LOVES music and would love to be a judge for singing competitions (such as The Voice, American Idol, etc.) She is the best sister I could ask for :) Love you May!
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