Those of you who know me pretty well know that my life has almost dramatically changed within the last few months. I graduated high school last May and at first, it didn't seem like my life was really any different. I kept in contact with and saw many of the same people I went to high school with for much of the summer.
But then as the new school year started, I decided to skip this semester and just go to the next one....I've regretted it ever since. I spent too much time at home and I was unemployed. I rarely saw my buddies from high school and even when I did, I didn't really feel the same just because the kids still in high school were too into each other and same with the kids going to college. I was in neither. So I felt pretty alone.
Months passed by, and I got my first job at Target. That was a brief, but VERY exciting time in my life! I knew what it was like to be excited about making your own money and not feeling like a free-loader. I noticed that everytime I was really busy, my thoughts of the outside world COMPLETELY disappared! Anything I was upset about never crossed my mind! It was amazing! And also from that experience, I made a new friend that ended up becoming special and very close to my heart. He is now my everything and we've been keeping it strong for almost 4 months now. And being with him, I don't see all my friends that often and sometimes I miss the good old times we had, but I'm grateful for moving on because my life has changed in SO many good ways that my other friends couldn't have done.
I bring all of that up because, now, I'm starting to make very big life-changing decisions because of all of that. I want to go to school, be married someday, and learn to be more independent. And I admit that it's scary, because I'm still young and I want to make sure I'm doing the right things so I don't feeli like I screwed up. That is probably my biggest fear. And sometimes I concentrate too much on how my future should be and it makes me feel confused and insecure. But lately I've been told many times to not worry so much about the future. Instead, I need to live day by day, almost as if there isn't a future, 'cause deep down, what really matters is what you do to today rather than what you did yesterday or you're going to. Today determines the person you really are. So if any of you also struggle with this, I advice you to relax and enjoy the happiness of each day that comes :D
Oh and one last thing! This is song that probably everyone knows, but I feel like it TOTALLY relates to what I just said. Enjoy!
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